I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
