whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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