Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize