$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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