i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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