I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my sisters under your porch take her home
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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