Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
