sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize