I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
