started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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