Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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