doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
