i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
