Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
