I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
