It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
