I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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