Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
