I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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