That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
