Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
3 2 1 whiskey
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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