dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My cat gives me a boner
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
