it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Everything about him screamed your future.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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