i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
