I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
