it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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