I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
