Nicole vs. Life
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
