he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
