Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
