i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
