Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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