The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
