who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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