May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
