are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
