My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
