I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
