News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
