He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize