Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
