I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
