North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
