Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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