Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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