Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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