sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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