I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
