made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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