Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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