You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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