We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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