last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
