Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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