I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
