I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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