drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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