the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
