Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
